the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
