remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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