No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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