ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
