FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
