I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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