Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
