he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
