the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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