also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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