it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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