Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
