does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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