Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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