Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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