well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize