Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize