I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm at about main and main street
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
