and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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