wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
