we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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