i just had sex bonerless
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
