Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i need to put some appletini on your dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
