how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
