From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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