4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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