WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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