so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
