Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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