Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
