yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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