You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
