Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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