suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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