fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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