Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
