There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
