i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
