just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
