I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I enjoy the company of your penis
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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