bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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