Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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