Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
