its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
