actually, I'm a sock model
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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