You're my little dorito
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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