you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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