Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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