My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
