In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
