AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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