his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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