is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
