Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
