My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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