I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
