Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
