oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
this hospital has no fireball
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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