How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
