she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He did a backflip because drugs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
