Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize